It has almost been a year since we were first introduced to the agency and the expectant mother that would change our lives completely.
February 26, 2018, we were contacted by a friend about a potential situation. It was out of agency, out of state, and completely out of our control. Three days later, after anxiously corresponding with Payton (the expectant mother) and getting to know her better, she decided to choose us! Then began the waiting game for Baby M to be born.
I remember those two months like they were yesterday. I was so excited for him to be born and so terrified that she would change her mind. I remember thinking how we had waited for him for so long (over 5 years) and how each day leading up to his due date felt like forever.
Despite all of my planning and preparing, Milo made his grand entrance into the world a month early. Eight months later and he is still doing things in his own time and on his own terms.
The whole time we waited to become parents we imagined our future child. We pictured who they would be and all the things we would do as a family. Nothing could have prepared us for the joy that is Milo. He is better than anything we could have hoped for or imagined. We thank God for him every single day.
Nothing about our journey to parenthood has been easy or direct. Infertility almost destroyed our marriage and the long wait to adopt almost destroyed us personally. But I would not change a thing because it brought us to Payton. I still am in awe of her bravery and her love for Milo.
Our relationship with Payton and her family has been the biggest surprise and the biggest blessing. We had no idea how much of a bond we would feel with Milo’s birth family. We are so thankful that she changed her mind and chose an open adoption with us. She encourages me daily and it is an absolute joy to share pictures and videos with her. Open adoption is a beautiful thing.
Milo is so incredibly loved.
So how can I sum up the last 8 months, well really the last 5 years. We started this journey full of hope and completely naïve. We assumed we would match quickly and become parents, despite the statistics and long agency waiting lists. We had no idea how long the entire process would take.
For the most part we remained optimistic, even after the first agency ended up being a complete waste of our time and money. After months with the second agency and multiple rejections from expectant mothers, we started to loose hope.
We survived each holiday thinking it would be the last one we would experience childless. We watched all of our friends get pregnant and start their families. We ignored all the unwarranted advice and suggestions from naysayers. We focused on building our home, adventuring to new places and spending intentional time together.
Our home and our hearts were ready, we just had no idea who we were waiting for.
All of the paperwork, the waiting, the longing, the rejection, the brokenness and despair were completely worth it. I can look back now and see how God was preparing our hearts for Milo. He had chosen Milo for us and I would do it all over again just to be his mother.
And now here we are…8 months later and we get to officially call him our own. Social worker visits, court ordered documents, judge approved paperwork, and all the hurdles have been completed. We will sit in that courtroom with our son and legally promise to care for him (physically and emotionally) for as long as he needs. The honor and the responsibility are not lost on me.
Finalizing Milo’s adoption feels like the culmination of our adoption journey, but really it is only the beginning. One signature cannot capture a lifetime of parenthood. Its in the big and the little things of life….the nighttime feedings and the first steps, packing lunches and learning to read, the conversations and the heartbreaks, the comforting and the celebrating, the hugs and the goodbye waves, the school dances and the college essays.
We get the honor and responsibility of raising him, of shaping him, providing for all his needs, and most importantly, loving him.
We get the opportunity to declare in front of our family and the judge all the promises we have made from the moment we said yes. Milo, we will be there for the ups and the downs, the firsts and the lasts, the trials and the triumphs. We will hold you when you cry, help you get back on your feet when you fall, and guide you as you grow. We will share all of the things: laughter, adventures, rugby, french fries, and a love for DIY.
We love you to the moon and back , Milo Payton, and we are so thrilled to officially call you our son.